My wife claims not to be a red neck.
I will now present arguments to the contrary.
Vehicle repair : Only a red neck wife would expect her redneck husband to fix his own vehicle.
Real world examples:
1) I blew a radiator while towing a classic Mustang. I call the wife to pick me up off the side of the road. Her response : "I'm busy, fix it yourself."
I then walk several miles to a parts place, buy a radiator, walk back to the truck with radiator and fluid, and install it will only a pair of pliers.
2) I blew a brake wheel cylinder in my truck. I tell the wife I am taking it somewhere to get it fixed. Her response : "Don't you normally work on your own vehicles."
I then fix it myself.
3) I blow a tire on my mountain bike in the middle of the woods. I call for a pickup at the nearest trail head. Her response : "Can't you fix it yourself?". Luckily I had a spare tube with me, and I fixed it.
Family,Phrases, and More : The following further prove she is a closet redneck:
1) She uses the term "Going to town". We live in the suburbs!
2) I have been 4 wheelin' with her father and uncle. The 2 favorite men relatives of hers.
3) She and I have been 4 wheel muddin' together. (Pre-marriage).
4) She claims not to be able to drive a standard transmission truck...however I have seen her do it flawlessly on the first attempt.
5) She is a capable rigger. I have seen her use tape, bandana's, staples, hot glue to "fix" stuff all the time.
6) I have taught my daughters to say "momma, make it bigger" when it is time to get their hair fixed. My wife happily complies.
Don't let her fool you. She is a closet redneck, and she makes me proud!
-The HTRN
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"I don't want to sell anything, buy anything, or process anything as a career. I don't want to sell anything bought or processed, or buy anything sold or processed, or process anything sold, bought, or processed, or repair anything sold, bought, or processed. You know, as a career, I don't want to do that." Lloyd Dobler
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4 comments:
Oh, hun... don't go 'round spreadin' rumors and such!
Oh, and for the record, aren't you the one who prides y'erself on the fact that you've never put your vehicles in the shop? Now, why would I demean you and insist that you do otherwise? I mean, really!
And just because you are extreme mountain bike man doesn't mean I want to go traipsing out in the woods to rescue your rear-end because you can't seem to stay off the rocks? I mean, really... again!
our views of redneck are differing, your definition is a good 1, but I do not think Erica is anywhere near being a red neck. However, seeing you in your metro glasses at church yesterday disqualified you as a redneck in my eyes - smiles! I liked your glasses.
I don't know, Erica...sounds pretty convincing to me.
Muddin' is not something non-rednecks do...
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