It's been a while since I blogged.
My new job has been insanely busy...Until today.
Layoffs at the new company.
It been a good couple months. My maintenance group has improved to the point where we don't get screamed at every day. Now we have no work. With no work to run, equipment doesn't break. When equipment doesn't break, maintenance guys have time to blog.
Politics :
I have found myself without a party. The Democrats are now unabashed socialists. The Republicans are unabashed nanny staters.
Libertarians are just kinda wierd.
It's time I start my own political party.
The Founding Father Party:
Dig up the Jefferson principles.
Limited Government. States rights. No income taxes. No welfare entitlements. Military that protects our borders.
Sounds good, right?
The party is doomed from the beginning. Now that over half our population is dependent on our government in some form or fashion, we have lost. I'm not sure what you do now.
At any time in the past, less than 50% of the people were dependents. You could convince people to get back on the Constitutional path. No Longer.
I am sad. The peoples willing forfeiture of rights and freedoms will result in our slavery to the Federal Government.
We celebrate the first black president because of the great overcoming of slavery and racism, yet we volunteer our nation into willing slavery.
I am sad.
The HTRN
Thursday, November 6, 2008
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Stop The Gas Talk
Please stop talking about gasoline prices. Please stop talking about oil prices. Please stop talking about food prices.
The more we rumble about it, the more likely our political hero's will feel the need to do something.
People complain that we can't run a war in Iraq. War is easy. You shoot and kill stuff.
What makes people think government can possibly comprehend supply, demand, consumer choices, etc in a global economy?
Government track record:
1) In the 70's, our hero's put price caps on gasoline. That worked so well, I remember waiting in lines and gas stations having zero gas to sell.
2) Ethanol subsidies have worked so well, that the price of everything we eat has risen.
3) Forbidding drilling in our own country. That has worked so well, that the OPEC countries have built gold plated cities from American profits.
Here's a better idea : Start rumbling about our high taxes.
I just figured I paid 600% more in TAXES last year than I did on gasoline.
More government "help" in our energy issue will not only result in higher gasoline but more TAXES.
If they cut my taxes by 50%, I wouldn't care if gas was $10 a gallon. I would still be ahead.
Oh ya : The most stupid idea I have ever heard from a popular politician : Raise the taxes on oil companies.
Thats great. More TAXES and higher gasoline.
BIG GOVERNMENT : Please stick to war. Why don't you fix our gas problem by doing something you know better.
Take over Saudi, Kuwait, UAE, etc. This is the purpose of government after all.
-The HTRN
The more we rumble about it, the more likely our political hero's will feel the need to do something.
People complain that we can't run a war in Iraq. War is easy. You shoot and kill stuff.
What makes people think government can possibly comprehend supply, demand, consumer choices, etc in a global economy?
Government track record:
1) In the 70's, our hero's put price caps on gasoline. That worked so well, I remember waiting in lines and gas stations having zero gas to sell.
2) Ethanol subsidies have worked so well, that the price of everything we eat has risen.
3) Forbidding drilling in our own country. That has worked so well, that the OPEC countries have built gold plated cities from American profits.
Here's a better idea : Start rumbling about our high taxes.
I just figured I paid 600% more in TAXES last year than I did on gasoline.
More government "help" in our energy issue will not only result in higher gasoline but more TAXES.
If they cut my taxes by 50%, I wouldn't care if gas was $10 a gallon. I would still be ahead.
Oh ya : The most stupid idea I have ever heard from a popular politician : Raise the taxes on oil companies.
Thats great. More TAXES and higher gasoline.
BIG GOVERNMENT : Please stick to war. Why don't you fix our gas problem by doing something you know better.
Take over Saudi, Kuwait, UAE, etc. This is the purpose of government after all.
-The HTRN
Monday, June 16, 2008
Three Easy Steps For Angering Your Wife
There are hundreds of books that instruct clueless men in how to treat woman and have a better marriage. Follow my 3 steps below and you'll have one mad wet hen!
1) Play Dumb.
One day my in-laws were in for a visit. My wife was trying to make a point that I did not help out around the house...Here is the conversation:
Wife : "He doesn't even know where the dishwasher is."
Me : "Yes I do." Then I point at my wife.
Wife : Too mad for even a rebuttal.
2) Scare the crap out of her.
A few weeks into our marriage, I decided to scare her good. I woke up before she did. I knew exactly what time her alarm clock was set to go off. I proceed to wrap my head in a blanket and lean directly over her head so that all she would see is a scary man's eyes when she awoke.
This brought her to tears and now I am banned from scaring her at all.
-> Extra advise: Don't go too far, especially if you keep firearms around the house.
3) Use your manly smells as entertainment.
After a while, pulling the covers over her head after passing wind loses it's fun.
Here's my advanced wind passing technique:
Go into your closet. Pass some wind silently. Let it stew for a minute.
Call the wife like this : "Something smells funny in here. Is it mildew?"
Wife will invariable come in with the intention of getting a good whiff of whatever is in the closet.
This technique will work 3 to 6 times, as long as you mix the scenario up a little.
Remember, Lock up the firearms while exercising these methods. Red neck wives can shoot too!
-The HTRN
1) Play Dumb.
One day my in-laws were in for a visit. My wife was trying to make a point that I did not help out around the house...Here is the conversation:
Wife : "He doesn't even know where the dishwasher is."
Me : "Yes I do." Then I point at my wife.
Wife : Too mad for even a rebuttal.
2) Scare the crap out of her.
A few weeks into our marriage, I decided to scare her good. I woke up before she did. I knew exactly what time her alarm clock was set to go off. I proceed to wrap my head in a blanket and lean directly over her head so that all she would see is a scary man's eyes when she awoke.
This brought her to tears and now I am banned from scaring her at all.
-> Extra advise: Don't go too far, especially if you keep firearms around the house.
3) Use your manly smells as entertainment.
After a while, pulling the covers over her head after passing wind loses it's fun.
Here's my advanced wind passing technique:
Go into your closet. Pass some wind silently. Let it stew for a minute.
Call the wife like this : "Something smells funny in here. Is it mildew?"
Wife will invariable come in with the intention of getting a good whiff of whatever is in the closet.
This technique will work 3 to 6 times, as long as you mix the scenario up a little.
Remember, Lock up the firearms while exercising these methods. Red neck wives can shoot too!
-The HTRN
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
Who Invented Swimming?
You ever wonder what ancient human decided to jump in the water and swim?
In my exercise quest, I decided to take a swim the other day.
I felt like a drunk fat man in the water. And this after I've gotten myself in pretty good shape.
Why in the world do people swim? We don't have webbed feet or gills. Most land dwelling creatures are smart enough to stay out of the water if they can help it.
I'll stick to bike riding. At least I've seen one of those trained chimps on a bike.
Just seems more natural.
-The HTRN
In my exercise quest, I decided to take a swim the other day.
I felt like a drunk fat man in the water. And this after I've gotten myself in pretty good shape.
Why in the world do people swim? We don't have webbed feet or gills. Most land dwelling creatures are smart enough to stay out of the water if they can help it.
I'll stick to bike riding. At least I've seen one of those trained chimps on a bike.
Just seems more natural.
-The HTRN
Monday, June 9, 2008
Time For Change
I've grown lazy. Lack of work, and a company about to shut the doors really makes you worthless.
I'm going back to my roots. Equipment maintenance.
Time to polish up the Red Wings and starch the Dickies. I think I'll leave the chewing tobacco behind.
Hopefully my new crew will not be prejudiced toward my engineering degree.
My wife's uncle had that prejudice toward me. He is an electrician, good ole boy.
One day he decided to take me out 4 wheelin' in the mud and freezing temperatures. I guess he thought he would school the pasty white engineer boy. After we got into a 4 foot deep mud bog and we had mud and bodies and smoke blowin', he decided to respect the engineer boy.
Side story : I was on another trip with the wife's uncle. We were trail ridin' when he pulled over and pulled a roll of toilet paper from under the seat, takes off his shirt and wonders into the woods. When he returned, I asked what was with taking off the shirt. He said it is just more comfortable. To this day, I like to remove my shirt as I head to the john. I refer to it as "taking a Cha-Chi". (The uncle's nick name).
Anyway...My career is changing. Back to the real man work of fixing broke stuff.
-The HTRN
I'm going back to my roots. Equipment maintenance.
Time to polish up the Red Wings and starch the Dickies. I think I'll leave the chewing tobacco behind.
Hopefully my new crew will not be prejudiced toward my engineering degree.
My wife's uncle had that prejudice toward me. He is an electrician, good ole boy.
One day he decided to take me out 4 wheelin' in the mud and freezing temperatures. I guess he thought he would school the pasty white engineer boy. After we got into a 4 foot deep mud bog and we had mud and bodies and smoke blowin', he decided to respect the engineer boy.
Side story : I was on another trip with the wife's uncle. We were trail ridin' when he pulled over and pulled a roll of toilet paper from under the seat, takes off his shirt and wonders into the woods. When he returned, I asked what was with taking off the shirt. He said it is just more comfortable. To this day, I like to remove my shirt as I head to the john. I refer to it as "taking a Cha-Chi". (The uncle's nick name).
Anyway...My career is changing. Back to the real man work of fixing broke stuff.
-The HTRN
Thursday, June 5, 2008
Stuff Don't Work No More
I'm tired of cheap made stuff. Does anyone make real stuff anymore?
My new mountain bike for example. It was advertised as weighing 30.5lbs.
I am finding out why. The inner tubes are so thin I have already blown both of them. I bought REAL tubes just so I would stop getting stuck in the wilderness. After I harden the bike so it can really be rode as a mountain bike, it will weigh 35lbs.
My sprinklers. I bought the fancy metal impact sprinklers. Whoever called themselves the engineer on that little project should be demoted to lawyer.
They stopped ratcheting around after the second use.
BBQ tongs. No matter how much I spend, they are good for one, maybe 2 BBQ seasons.
Of course in Texas you get a couple hundred BBQ sessions a year. No one from a foreign state or country should have a license to make BBQ equipment for Texans.
Cars : Who thought putting plastic in the high temp engine compartment was a good idea? Who thinks 50 micro-controllers in a car is a good idea? If it's not made from some type of ore or an animal skin, it has no business in my car.
Televisions : I'm on my 3rd big screen TV in 4 years. They all just die. I have banned all Samsung products from my house. I still have an old tube TV that has been working for 14 years.
Sad to say, if people really made good products, no one would ever need to buy another one. Seems like a catch 22 that will only get worse.
The HTRN
My new mountain bike for example. It was advertised as weighing 30.5lbs.
I am finding out why. The inner tubes are so thin I have already blown both of them. I bought REAL tubes just so I would stop getting stuck in the wilderness. After I harden the bike so it can really be rode as a mountain bike, it will weigh 35lbs.
My sprinklers. I bought the fancy metal impact sprinklers. Whoever called themselves the engineer on that little project should be demoted to lawyer.
They stopped ratcheting around after the second use.
BBQ tongs. No matter how much I spend, they are good for one, maybe 2 BBQ seasons.
Of course in Texas you get a couple hundred BBQ sessions a year. No one from a foreign state or country should have a license to make BBQ equipment for Texans.
Cars : Who thought putting plastic in the high temp engine compartment was a good idea? Who thinks 50 micro-controllers in a car is a good idea? If it's not made from some type of ore or an animal skin, it has no business in my car.
Televisions : I'm on my 3rd big screen TV in 4 years. They all just die. I have banned all Samsung products from my house. I still have an old tube TV that has been working for 14 years.
Sad to say, if people really made good products, no one would ever need to buy another one. Seems like a catch 22 that will only get worse.
The HTRN
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
Professional Morons
I like to poke fun at jobs I think are ridiculously easy.
What makes it so much fun, is the people doing these jobs think they have a degree in astro-physics.
Here my top 5 list of jobs and why I laugh:
1) Weatherman : I find it hysterical when my local Fox 7 weatherman brags that his weather model is perfectly accurate for the current weather. A model is supposed to predict something in the future. The fact that it predicts what is CURRENTLY going on is the most stupid thing I can imagine saying. He takes top honors.
2) IT professionals : I will try not to offend my many friends who are in the IT business, but here I go.... Making computers run with hardware someone else designed, prototyped, manufactured and tested just doesn't seem that hard. Making applications run with software someone else designed, wrote, and tested just doesn't seem that hard.
The hard part about the job is keeping the lingo so confusing that only IT people can interpret what other IT people are saying. For this, I respect them, but still laugh.
3) Family Doctors : Let's face it, 99% of what they see is routine. Cold, flu, ear infections, etc. A quick blood pressure check and an internet connection is all you need in these times to be a family doc. They pawn off anything difficult to a specialist. What makes me laugh is that they (like the IT folks) keep the lingo coded so that no one tries to smack them down. If I had any vocabulary at all, I could pass as a doctor.
4) The car salesman "Finance" guy : My absolute favorite role playing character of all times. Anytime I have to talk to one of these clowns, I just pretend I am on a game show. "Why yes Bob, I would like to spin the wheel again."
My favorite experience : I know how the finance guys like to quote a monthly payment instead of the actually final price of the car. One time I programmed the reverse amortization formula in my calculator and started asking for different monthly payments over different time periods, just to see him run back to his office and figure it out. The most fun ever.
5) General technology people : Yes I fall into this category.
We pretend that technology is somehow mysterious, hard to understand, and not everyone can do it. I laugh at myself all the time. A trained monkey could do my job.
I used to listen to my grandfather tell me stories of how he built houses, figured out angles, leveling, built jigs etc. He had an 8th grade education, and no modern tools like laser levels, etc.
The stuff they did in those days with what they had should make all of us feel downright stupid.
-The HTRN
What makes it so much fun, is the people doing these jobs think they have a degree in astro-physics.
Here my top 5 list of jobs and why I laugh:
1) Weatherman : I find it hysterical when my local Fox 7 weatherman brags that his weather model is perfectly accurate for the current weather. A model is supposed to predict something in the future. The fact that it predicts what is CURRENTLY going on is the most stupid thing I can imagine saying. He takes top honors.
2) IT professionals : I will try not to offend my many friends who are in the IT business, but here I go.... Making computers run with hardware someone else designed, prototyped, manufactured and tested just doesn't seem that hard. Making applications run with software someone else designed, wrote, and tested just doesn't seem that hard.
The hard part about the job is keeping the lingo so confusing that only IT people can interpret what other IT people are saying. For this, I respect them, but still laugh.
3) Family Doctors : Let's face it, 99% of what they see is routine. Cold, flu, ear infections, etc. A quick blood pressure check and an internet connection is all you need in these times to be a family doc. They pawn off anything difficult to a specialist. What makes me laugh is that they (like the IT folks) keep the lingo coded so that no one tries to smack them down. If I had any vocabulary at all, I could pass as a doctor.
4) The car salesman "Finance" guy : My absolute favorite role playing character of all times. Anytime I have to talk to one of these clowns, I just pretend I am on a game show. "Why yes Bob, I would like to spin the wheel again."
My favorite experience : I know how the finance guys like to quote a monthly payment instead of the actually final price of the car. One time I programmed the reverse amortization formula in my calculator and started asking for different monthly payments over different time periods, just to see him run back to his office and figure it out. The most fun ever.
5) General technology people : Yes I fall into this category.
We pretend that technology is somehow mysterious, hard to understand, and not everyone can do it. I laugh at myself all the time. A trained monkey could do my job.
I used to listen to my grandfather tell me stories of how he built houses, figured out angles, leveling, built jigs etc. He had an 8th grade education, and no modern tools like laser levels, etc.
The stuff they did in those days with what they had should make all of us feel downright stupid.
-The HTRN
Monday, June 2, 2008
Non Redneck Wife
My wife claims not to be a red neck.
I will now present arguments to the contrary.
Vehicle repair : Only a red neck wife would expect her redneck husband to fix his own vehicle.
Real world examples:
1) I blew a radiator while towing a classic Mustang. I call the wife to pick me up off the side of the road. Her response : "I'm busy, fix it yourself."
I then walk several miles to a parts place, buy a radiator, walk back to the truck with radiator and fluid, and install it will only a pair of pliers.
2) I blew a brake wheel cylinder in my truck. I tell the wife I am taking it somewhere to get it fixed. Her response : "Don't you normally work on your own vehicles."
I then fix it myself.
3) I blow a tire on my mountain bike in the middle of the woods. I call for a pickup at the nearest trail head. Her response : "Can't you fix it yourself?". Luckily I had a spare tube with me, and I fixed it.
Family,Phrases, and More : The following further prove she is a closet redneck:
1) She uses the term "Going to town". We live in the suburbs!
2) I have been 4 wheelin' with her father and uncle. The 2 favorite men relatives of hers.
3) She and I have been 4 wheel muddin' together. (Pre-marriage).
4) She claims not to be able to drive a standard transmission truck...however I have seen her do it flawlessly on the first attempt.
5) She is a capable rigger. I have seen her use tape, bandana's, staples, hot glue to "fix" stuff all the time.
6) I have taught my daughters to say "momma, make it bigger" when it is time to get their hair fixed. My wife happily complies.
Don't let her fool you. She is a closet redneck, and she makes me proud!
-The HTRN
I will now present arguments to the contrary.
Vehicle repair : Only a red neck wife would expect her redneck husband to fix his own vehicle.
Real world examples:
1) I blew a radiator while towing a classic Mustang. I call the wife to pick me up off the side of the road. Her response : "I'm busy, fix it yourself."
I then walk several miles to a parts place, buy a radiator, walk back to the truck with radiator and fluid, and install it will only a pair of pliers.
2) I blew a brake wheel cylinder in my truck. I tell the wife I am taking it somewhere to get it fixed. Her response : "Don't you normally work on your own vehicles."
I then fix it myself.
3) I blow a tire on my mountain bike in the middle of the woods. I call for a pickup at the nearest trail head. Her response : "Can't you fix it yourself?". Luckily I had a spare tube with me, and I fixed it.
Family,Phrases, and More : The following further prove she is a closet redneck:
1) She uses the term "Going to town". We live in the suburbs!
2) I have been 4 wheelin' with her father and uncle. The 2 favorite men relatives of hers.
3) She and I have been 4 wheel muddin' together. (Pre-marriage).
4) She claims not to be able to drive a standard transmission truck...however I have seen her do it flawlessly on the first attempt.
5) She is a capable rigger. I have seen her use tape, bandana's, staples, hot glue to "fix" stuff all the time.
6) I have taught my daughters to say "momma, make it bigger" when it is time to get their hair fixed. My wife happily complies.
Don't let her fool you. She is a closet redneck, and she makes me proud!
-The HTRN
Saturday, May 31, 2008
Fast Food Mexican Makes Me Raw
I like 2 different Fast Mexican Food Joints.
1) Taco Cabana. You just can't beat the cheap fajita tacos.
Problem - They have banned Concealed Handgun Owners from entering the store with a handgun.
I can think of no better way to scream "Hey, Come rob me", than to post a sign forbidding law abiding, licensed citizens from entering with their firearm.
Taco Cabana is banned.
2) Chipotle. Can't beat their burritos or burrito bowls.
Problem - I got kicked out of the store today for bringing my new mountain bike in with me. I said " Hey, I'm trying to go green, and you won't let me in.??" (Of course I stretched the truth a tad on the going green part).
They said I could leave my bike outside, to which I responded, "It's a $700 bike".
They have no bike racks or any other way to actually keep a bike exept for leaning it up against the outside wall.
Chipotle is banned.
I am running out of decent fast food Mexican places.
I have half a mind to start my own Fast food mexican joint.
My ad would read : Tacos for sale. No shirt, no shoes, guns, bikes, planes, trains, kids, dogs, cats, horses all welcome...as long as your money is green.
- The HTRN.
1) Taco Cabana. You just can't beat the cheap fajita tacos.
Problem - They have banned Concealed Handgun Owners from entering the store with a handgun.
I can think of no better way to scream "Hey, Come rob me", than to post a sign forbidding law abiding, licensed citizens from entering with their firearm.
Taco Cabana is banned.
2) Chipotle. Can't beat their burritos or burrito bowls.
Problem - I got kicked out of the store today for bringing my new mountain bike in with me. I said " Hey, I'm trying to go green, and you won't let me in.??" (Of course I stretched the truth a tad on the going green part).
They said I could leave my bike outside, to which I responded, "It's a $700 bike".
They have no bike racks or any other way to actually keep a bike exept for leaning it up against the outside wall.
Chipotle is banned.
I am running out of decent fast food Mexican places.
I have half a mind to start my own Fast food mexican joint.
My ad would read : Tacos for sale. No shirt, no shoes, guns, bikes, planes, trains, kids, dogs, cats, horses all welcome...as long as your money is green.
- The HTRN.
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Foosball
Work has become pretty dull. Luckily we have a foosball table now in our break room.
My brother works at the same company I do, so he is my daily foosball opponent.
It has gotten pretty bad. I'd say on any given day we play upwards of 10 games daily.
The table is a little old and it needs daily lubrication of the rods that the little men are on.
As you can imagine, I love messing with my brothers head.
Yesterday, I called him up and told him it was on. I got there early and lubricated my side of the table. I left the can of lube and some paper towels where he could see them.
When he comes in, he asks "Did you lube both sides?".
I of course replied, "Yes, of course".
I proceed to beat him badly.
After we were done, I whispered : "oh ya, I really didn't lube your side."
Fast forward next day.... He comes down for a game, I have can of lube out with paper towels.
This time, I am standing on the other side of the table....
I just love messing with his head.
My brother works at the same company I do, so he is my daily foosball opponent.
It has gotten pretty bad. I'd say on any given day we play upwards of 10 games daily.
The table is a little old and it needs daily lubrication of the rods that the little men are on.
As you can imagine, I love messing with my brothers head.
Yesterday, I called him up and told him it was on. I got there early and lubricated my side of the table. I left the can of lube and some paper towels where he could see them.
When he comes in, he asks "Did you lube both sides?".
I of course replied, "Yes, of course".
I proceed to beat him badly.
After we were done, I whispered : "oh ya, I really didn't lube your side."
Fast forward next day.... He comes down for a game, I have can of lube out with paper towels.
This time, I am standing on the other side of the table....
I just love messing with his head.
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Intro to Big Daddy
Welcome to my first ever blog.
I will use this opportunity to tell you what I am.
1) Texan - We were once a republic. Hopefully we will return.
2) Libertarian - Less governement is better. 95% less is best.
3) Red-Neck - I get done what has to get done. My definition of a red-neck : Rugged individual who doesn't need government or anyone else running my business.
Note to the Yankee readers : Red-neck does not = racist. That is stupid yankee talk.
I like all self reliant, hard working, stand up for themselves people.
4) Family man - My wife and daughters are worth fighting and dying for. Don't try me.
5) High Tech - I develop new technologies for semiconductor companies. I will keep this talk to a minimum so you don't hang yourselves.
Other stuff to know : I can't spell. My engineering degree taught me math, not that read'n stuff.
I am tri-illiterate. (I can't read in at least 3 languages that I know of).
I like cars, guns, stuff that blows up, college football, and playing a number of sports.
Stay tuned. I'll be reporting the ultra boring lifestyle of the High Tech Red Neck.
I will use this opportunity to tell you what I am.
1) Texan - We were once a republic. Hopefully we will return.
2) Libertarian - Less governement is better. 95% less is best.
3) Red-Neck - I get done what has to get done. My definition of a red-neck : Rugged individual who doesn't need government or anyone else running my business.
Note to the Yankee readers : Red-neck does not = racist. That is stupid yankee talk.
I like all self reliant, hard working, stand up for themselves people.
4) Family man - My wife and daughters are worth fighting and dying for. Don't try me.
5) High Tech - I develop new technologies for semiconductor companies. I will keep this talk to a minimum so you don't hang yourselves.
Other stuff to know : I can't spell. My engineering degree taught me math, not that read'n stuff.
I am tri-illiterate. (I can't read in at least 3 languages that I know of).
I like cars, guns, stuff that blows up, college football, and playing a number of sports.
Stay tuned. I'll be reporting the ultra boring lifestyle of the High Tech Red Neck.
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